Last time I wrote about what Wise Mind is.
One part of my therapy is to do exercises about it when I’m otherwise fine – namely, to describe a situation in which wise mind was used. This homework reinforces how it works and I thereby get myself into the automatic habit. Specifically, I’m supposed to write down how the situation went.
Here’s an episode from a couple of days ago.
It was early morning, and I wanted to do a run, but couldn’t find my running shorts in my suitcase. Ruffling through, I realized that I must have left them back in Barrie at my brother’s. I was trying to decide what to do, something that’s hard for me. Should I work instead? On what? Maybe I should do DBT exercises as “work”? Should I go for a walk instead of a run? Should I drive to Walmart and buy shorts, and then run? Would my hosts have a spare pair?
I felt mildly anxious as a result. That was the situation which called for Wise Mind.
Here’s how I used my Wise Mind techniques.
1) I did “box breathing”. That is, breathing in slowly, counting 1, 2, 3, 4. Then holding that breath in, gently, feeling it in my belly, for another four count. Then exhaling: 1, 2, 3, 4. Holding my breath for four. Repeating until calm returned.
2) I then asked a question to Wise Mind. “Why am I anxious?” Some answers were: that I’m tired, it being early morning; that there’s a dog at my feet and dogs put me a little bit on edge; that my seat is uncomfortable; that, though I am on a fun road trip with my daughter Saima, I’m nonetheless busy with work tasks, and they are on my mind; that I never like decisions; that I always want to do, and so I want something to do right now.
The next step in the homework exercise is to try to recall the effectiveness of the box breathing and the questioning at the time. How much did they help? The answer is that they were somewhat effective. I became less anxious, and not just momentarily. On the other hand, they didn’t take away the impulse to do. It returned rapidly. (I responded to that I-must-do urge by doing my Wise Mind DBT homework!)
Here’s a second episode from yesterday afternoon. Describing, the situation was that I was walking with a friend along a lovely forest path. I had negative thoughts like, “Soon, and inevitably, I won’t be able to scramble over rocks like this, follow rough foot paths, etc.” This led to feelings of sadness and hopelessness, then to metafear of an episode of depression – oh no, here it comes. Then to tears and to my voice cracking.
Here’s how I used my Wise Mind techniques once again. I told myself: “That’s your usual morbid thought”. I noticed it, didn’t try to reason my way out of it. I said ‘wise mind’ while breathing calmly.
This proved very effective. I was able to practice the technique and it did relieve the sadness and fear of a relapse. I was free to continue the lovely walk and the lovely conversation.
Step one in this homework is to describe situations where Wise Mind was used. Step two is to evaluate how well it worked. The third and final step in this homework exercise is to briefly list other “wise” things – the moments of balancing reason and emotion – which I performed in the past days. Here are several. When running near my niece’s house, and becoming afraid of getting lost, I told myself to be in the moment, to notice the trees and the rain drops, and the quiet. I chose to accept my indifference about which little task to commence with – indecisiveness about such things doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with my faculties. I also allowed uncertainty about the plans for the upcoming week, dependent as they were on others. I was poised to judge myself for forgetting the shorts and countered with the same thought. It was a tiny thing, everyone does stuff like that, it doesn’t mean that I’m falling apart mentally. Finally, when running a bit late, I told myself that it would be okay and that, again, it doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person, that I’m mentally or physically declining, etc.
Enough for today. I’m now going to do another Wise Mind practice session.