My DBT homework sessions have taken a positive turn. I have joined a virtual group, run out of a depression clinic at University of Toronto, for a 12-week course; and I have a new therapist, Rachel S, – who I am seeing in person in London! – to help me with the assignments.
The first homework is on “wise mind”. DBT is about dialectical and behavioral therapy. Wise mind is the spot in-between the extremes of strong emotion and perfectly cool-headed reason. That’s the dialectical bit. In that state, the person is meant to both be and act more effectively; and one gets there through skilled practices. That’s the behavioral bit.
The skills we looked at this time were:
- Paying attention to breathing. Taking a deep breath and then attending in particular to the “bottom of the breath”. I try to say ‘wise mind’ to myself as I exhale.
- Asking oneself a question, e.g., ‘Should I honk at the reckless driver?’ The point isn’t to choose one, but rather to notice the potential answers. Merely attending to a mental state can diffuse it.
Both skills are, of course, mindfulness ones.
My assignment for this week is to practice these two. The aim is that eventually I will do them automatically, even in the heat of the moment. That’s the hardest bit, because when I’m in a bad state, it’s very hard to recall the skills.