Here are a few easy DBT-style techniques I just learned for dealing with difficult thoughts by distancing yourself from them.
- 1) When you notice a painful thought, say to yourself: ‘I am noticing thought X’. Then ‘I have realized that I am noticing thought X’. This embedding of the thought in other propositional attitudes gives you distance from it. You don’t identify with it. In my case, for instance, the thought that everyone will grow old and die might recur, as it does all the time, and I will say in my mind: ‘I realize that I am noticing the thought that everyone will grow old and die’. This defangs it somewhat.
- It can help even more to give the recurring thought a label. I call mine ‘that death thought’. Referring to it this way, I get even more distance: ‘I recognize that I am noticing that death thought again.’
- 2) Conceive of the intrusive thoughts and feelings as noisy passengers on a bus. You’re the bus driver. You can’t kick the passengers off the bus. You can’t silence them for long. But even when emotionally vulnerable you exist separately from them, and as the driver you control the mechanics of the bus, they don’t. You can choose who to attend to and whether to believe the message they are aggressively shouting. (Sometimes they are saying things which are true and important, though their words will sometimes hurt you or sway you… So, distance yourself from them, don’t try to silence them.)
3) When a painful thought shows up, sing it to the tune of happy birthday. Or say it in your head using a silly voice (e.g., from a Monty Python comedian or a cartoon character). This sounds corny. It is corny. But it works for me, by placing the thought a certain distance from myself in terms of the form it is couched in.