Sometimes, many times, an episode of anxiety or depression is an opportunity to develop long-term resilience. You learn lessons that help you recover.
Other times, though, the symptoms are so severe that you just need to make it through. All you can hope to manage is tolerating the distress. That’s when DBT’s skill of short-term self-distraction comes in. The DBT Skills Training manual contains a lengthy list of ways to distract, falling into categories such as leisure activities, contributing to others’ well-being, grounding oneself in the moment, and “surfing” the negative emotions.
The list is a fine thing. However, such distraction-oriented activities bring in their wake another problem. I’m often afflicted with “decision paralysis”. (I just learned that term. It’s a depression thing.) I frequently can’t choose between A and B, especially when the decision is a tiny one, of little importance. The paralysis is especially acute when things are so bad that I would need simply tolerate. So, how to decide which distraction to pick?
Here was a really helpful suggestion from a member of my virtual DBT group. Write up a list of my preferred distractions on recipe cards. They can’t themselves require much decision-making. (For instance, not ‘Do something nice for a friend’, which leads to do what exactly? and for whom? Even ‘Watch a movie’ doesn’t belong on the list: which genre, which movie and on which platform?) Put them all in a bowl. When I’m in that severe state, and I’m also faced with decision paralysis… pick one randomly from the bowl and just do it.
Here is my list:
- go for a walk and listen to the cued-up crime podcast
- do a run
- bake muffins
- watch Brooklyn 99 on Netflix
- phone someone in Uruguay
- listen to Radiohead
- play bridge on the computer
- read a novel